Genesis

So, I was semi-officially renounced of my note transcribing duties... therefore this has officially become an opinion page.

GENESIS
Genesis 1.1-2
"In the beginning"...."ditto." This year I learned that The Bible was composed by more than one author and this is shown in the very first book of The Bible where the beginning happens, twice!

1. P (Priestly Writer)
- HIS Genesis - God says for something to be done and one boring explanation later, "it was so...And God saw that it was good."
- The P writer uses a very logical, repetitive, almost scientific method of writing that tends to be a bit more than tedious, it's just strait up boring.
2. J (Yaweh)
- HER (?) writing style differs from P in that it actually has a literary quality to it. It's got X factor.
- J tells the beginning in a lyrical style, making it a story, rather than a chronologically bulleted list...kind of like this list, for example.

Although I OBVIOUSLY prefer J to P the multiple authors in the Hebrew Scriptures, approximately 5, breaks up the 2000 pages and has allowed for me to play along with the text while reading. I call this game, "Guess the Author"....(Title still in progress.)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Authors_of_the_Bible

Genesis 1.3
We all know the story of the Garden of Eden? No sir-ree bob, we most certainly do not! I told you about my limited knowledge of the Bible in a previous post and yes, i went to church. However, people rarely learn much in detail through osmosis so this was a very shocking passage for me to actually read.
A. the serpant is not evil, just incredibly crafty and clever compared to our dimwitted "ancestors"
B. God picked the best looking tree, growing in the best location to put off limits
C. He threatens death, should Adam or Eve even touch it
- A threat he never follows thru on
D. They did not eat an apple, it was "a fruit"
- Pomegranite, pear, grapefruit, cherry, plum...
E. God had NO CLUE that they had eaten the fruit until he noticed they were no longer naked
F. Eve blames the serpant, to redirect the blame, and immediately the serpant is cursed to live on the ground and hiss to communicate
G. Then Adam names his wife Eve
- Who has been nameless this whole time!
H. Instead of killing them, God forces them out of Eden
- Mainly because he doesnt want Adam to now find out that he can eat from the tree of life and gain immortality
- Women cursed with the pain of childbaring
- Man destined to till the ground and work for food
http://www.circusoflife.com/2012/Clipart/adam_eve_serpent.jpg

The story of The First Sin and its Punishment, is when I first noticed God's inability to constantly keep his word. He threatens or alternately, promises something and often fails to deliver.
At this point in the text I have in my mind begun to compare God to a single, first time parent who is learning how to be a father as he goes along. In Genesis (creation) he set up the baby room, with all the fine ammenities: plush grass, a playmate, cool looking trees, the love of nudity, etc. But when his kids misbehave he punishes them by taking all the extra goodies away. He believes this to be punishment enough, but as his "children" multiply later on, it becomes apparent that they will soon misbehave again and keep misbehaving...